Old Tummy, New Tummy

Just thought I'd post a before-and-after comparison of my tummy...my 'silver lining'.

Before the DIEP:

After the DIEP:

When you're feeling lonely, lost and let down
Seems like those dark skies are following you around
And life's just one big shade of gray
You wonder if you'll see the light of day

Behind the clouds, the sun is shining
Believe me even though you can't quite make it out
You may not see the silver lining
But there's a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds

I've heard it said that this too shall pass
Good times or bad times, neither one lasts
But thinking that your luck won't ever change
Is like thinking it won't ever stop once it starts to rain

Behind the clouds, the sun is shining
Believe me even though you can't quite make it out
You may not see the silver lining
But there's a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds
Yeah, there's a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds
-Brad Paisley

New Nipple

Here's another nipple update: yesterday I had my one-week post-surgery appointment, and saw the new nipple for the first time.  The nurse warned me it would look a bit scary at this point...and she was right.  It is probably the most gruesome thing I've seen on my body.  I don't think I can adequately describe it...it's purple and white, scabby, with sutures sticking out all over.  Me no like-y.  After removing the dressing and revealing the thing, the nurse then proceeded to poke it all around with a needle, to make sure it could bleed (which would indicate that it was getting good blood flow)...it did.  I am told it will look much better with time, and eventually can be tattooed so the color will look more natural.  The bruising from the lipo is much better this week, it's turning yellow and there is a lot less pain...and my tummy scar looks a lot nicer now (the doctor did some revision to smooth it out).  I'm feeling quite good this week physically, nearly back to how I was before this surgery.  Looking forward to:  Emma coming home for her spring break (and celebrating her 22nd birthday), getting back to Zumba class next week, planning Griffin's 2nd birthday party (train theme), and trying out some hypnotherapy courtesy of Tammi McKinley (my awesome midwife) and Sunflowers Healing and Wellness (hopefully will help me process the emotional stuff I'm going through).  Also looking forward to a life with no more surgery!
Love to you all,
Liz

Nipple News

Just a quick update to say that my surgeon called with the pathology results on the removed nipple...all clear, no sign of cancer.  A relief, since I was a bit worried that keeping it for so long would turn out to be bad.  Meanwhile, I'm finding out just how painful recovering from liposuction is...and realizing that I can feel pain in my nipples, even though I thought the whole area was completely numb.  But I'm able to get by without the percoset (which was making me loopy), just taking some Tylenol and trying not to move around too much.  Hopefully in a few more days I'll be back on my feet.
-Liz

Nipple and Tuck

My (hopefully) last surgery is over; I had the 'nipple and tuck' yesterday.  It turns out that liposuction is extremely painful!  Dr. Davison lipo'd  my hips and a bit on my lower back, and then used the fat to round out my breasts...and everywhere that got lipo'd is now terribly bruised and sore.  He also removed the right nipple, reconstructed it using the abdominal skin grafts he saved from the last surgery, and also lifted up the left breast to be more even with the right, moving that nipple up in the process.  So both nipples areas and both hip areas are quite painful right now, and the percoset doesn't seem to be helping much.  I'm taking lots of arnica, hoping that will help with the bruising.  I ended up spending the entire day in the hospital yesterday, because I had an extreme reaction to the anesthesia...I spent the day vomiting, and was very groggy...so they kept me in post-op for a lot longer than usual.  None of the anti-nausea drugs seemed to work for me this time.  But today all nausea is gone, and I'm eating normally again.  Really glad it's all over.  It's hard again for Griffin, because he doesn't understand why he can't climb on me and hug me...and hard for me not to be able to cuddle him...but just touching the affected areas gently really hurts, and Griffin is not usually very gentle.  But I should be feeling much better after a few more days.  Then all that's left is to get the new nipple/areola tattooed eventually (so it will look more realistic in color). 
So now that this final leg of the journey is over, I'm not sure if I'll write any more on this blog...I'll have to see if I feel the need to keep expressing myself in this way.  But I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been reading it, and sending me prayers and healing thoughts.  It has been very therapeutic  to be able to write about my experience.  I would be happy if my blog could some day help other women diagnosed with breast cancer...so please feel free to pass it along if you know anyone who might benefit from reading it.  I know for me it has been helpful to learn from other breast cancer survivors, both in person through the support group, and by reading blogs and books. 
Love to you all,
Liz