Two Weeks Post-Surgery

Today I got the final drain out, and I feel so much better both physically and psychologically...no more tubes hanging out of my body.  My incisions look good, all dressings are off and I am supposed to apply Aquaphor a few times a day to help minimize the scarring.  I am feeling occasional shooting pains in my right breast, and a hard lumpy area...apparently the pains are not uncommon for a radiated breast...and the lumpy area is most likely fat necrosis, which may resolve itself or may have to be removed by the doctor later.  But in general all looks good, and I don't have to go back to the doctor for three weeks.  I will probably have the surgery to remove the nipple, and for him to do any 'touch-ups' needed, some time in February.

I am feeling like I want to get up and do things...but physically I still can't do much, so that's a bit frustrating.  I can't stand up straight, because my stomach feels extremely tight and sore; my back muscles spasm because my abs can't help support me; and I need to sit back down pretty soon after getting up...I still get tired out after a short walk to the next room.  But I am allowed to do any activity I want, and lift things if I want, as long as I listen to my body and take it slow and easy.  So it will be a gradual shift back to normal, as my body recovers.  I'm so happy to be able to lift Griffin into my lap again (he kind of helps climb in as I lift slightly, using my elbow on my knee as leverage).  I was able to sit in bed with the girls last night and read them their bedtime book; these little bits of getting back to normal life are encouraging. 

I tried to go off the Percoset yesterday, onto Tylenol, but after missing two doses I realized that I wasn't ready...I really felt the difference, had lots more pain.  So I'm going to try alternating the two for a few days, and see if I can gradually reduce the Percoset. 

We had a lovely Christmas...lots of wonderful gifts, good food, and joyful family time.  I enjoyed the gift opening from the comfort of a chaise lounge by the tree.  It is very hard to absorb the fact that the reconstruction, and this whole cruddy year, is over and done with.  Back when I was diagnosed, the recon seemed so far away and unreal...and now it's done, my tummy is flat, and a new year is about to start.  I pray that 2012 turns out to be a good, cancer-free year...for me, my family, and everyone I know.

Many many thanks to Stacy, Maria and Steve, Kara, Beth, and Tasia, for the wonderful meals and snacks the last few days before Christmas! We have been so well-fed during my recovery...what a blessing.  I can't express how grateful I am for the support, help, prayers, and good thoughts that have been coming my way during this whole ordeal.  I couldn't have gotten through the year without it!

And to close, here is a photo to show off my new flat tummy (the new boobs are a bit hidden by my stooped posture...you'll have to wait a bit to see how they turned out!):

Love to you all,
Liz

One Week

I made it through the first week post-surgery.  Sunday was the hardest day...the pain pump ran out and I suddenly had a lot of pain, plus I got very emotional (maybe related to stopping the tamoxifen for the week, which could be effecting my hormones).  But in general, I've been resting fairly comfortably and doing a little better every day; the percoset is doing it's job and the pain is manageable.  The hardest part, actually, is the discomfort in my muscles from just sitting around so much...I've got spasms in my back.  I just can't get up and move around much yet; just a trip to the bathroom is tiring.  I'm trying to start stretching as much as I can without involving stomach muscles.

Today I went for my one-week appointment.  Nurse Britney removed two of the drains, so I'm now down to one.  She removed a bunch of other things as well (dressings, staples, tubes), and said my incisions are looking really good.  The trip there and back, plus having her mess with everything, was pretty exhausting...I felt faint and out of breath the whole time (Britney suggested I try not to stoop over so much when walking, since it shortens my lung capacity...but it's hard not to).  Thanks to Mom for driving me there, and also for learning to give me my last two Lovenox shots...one more to go.  A big thanks to Marilee for giving me the first few, and walking Mom through the process!

Huge huge thanks to Kimberley, Lisa L, Adrienne, and Jessica C for some extremely delicious meals!  We are so blessed to be receiving this help.   I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice/Kwanzaa etc., and I'll update again next week.
Love,
Liz

Home Again

I'm home from the hospital!  Dr. Davison walked in to my room around 1pm, saw me sitting up in a chair with my laptop, and said anyone who is able to sit up and work at the computer does not need to be in hospital.  Little did he know that I was fast asleep sitting straight up when he walked in!  But I did feel ready to go, and am so glad to be resting in my own bed again.  I got home around 4:30pm on Saturday.

Dr. D said the surgery went as well as it could go, and everything looks great.  The flaps are working perfectly, and I didn't need a blood transfusion (as some women do, especially if their hemoglobin is already low from chemo).  My tummy feels extremely tight, and somewhat painfully bloated with gas.  It really hurts when I move, sneeze, cough, laugh, burp, or hiccup...so am trying not to do those things too much!  It sure looks flat, though!  My plastic surgeon commented several time that I had the ideal stomach for this procedure, and that he'd never seen such a wonderfully loose saggy tummy....thanks, I guess?

The results are going to be very rewarding.  My new boobs are much softer than the expanders, and so far look pretty good, considering.  One weird thing...he was supposed to remove that pesky nipple, we talked about it several times...and then during surgery he forgot!  I was counting on waking up from surgery with that taken care of.  He says he was so focused on getting the flaps secured, that he didn't remember.  So now it has to be taken care of at a later time. 

In the hospital, I had so many tubes and wires sticking out of me, it was pretty crazy.  I'll see if I can list them all: oxygen cannula in the nose; pulse/ox monitor on a finger; blood pressure cuff on the arm; various colorful wires connected to sensors on my chest; a continuous pain pump into my abdomen; an IV to deliver fluid, antibiotics, and pain meds;  a thing called a biotech (I think) that had two sensors stapled into my skin, one on each breast, that was supposed to sound an alarm if the blood flow was failing in the flaps (this machine stopped working correctly, though, so the doc removed it, and dopplers were used to check blood flow); a urinary catheter; four drains, two in the breasts and two in the abdomen; and squeezy things on my legs to prevent blood clots.  I was disconnected from most things by Saturday morning, leaving only the pain pump and the drains, which have to be emptied several times a day.

I also have to have a shot of Lovenox once a day for five days...that's a blood thinner to prevent clots.  Nathan gets whoozy at the mere thought of having to administer an injection...and I don't think I could do it to myself.  So Marilee, midwife extraordinaire, is coming to do it for the first three days...thanks Marilee!  If anyone else out there is experienced at giving injections, and could come over on Wednesday and/or Thursday, please let me know.

We have already had several delicious meals delivered...thank you so much Lisa L, Tasia, and Maya!  And thanks in advance to everyone who signed up to bring food...we are overwhelmed by your caring and generosity. 

I'll post more later.  Love to you all, and Happy Holidays!
-Liz

Post-Surgery Update

Hello everyone...I made it to the other side!  The surgery was successful, so far the 'flaps' are healthy and working, and I got through the first day with no complications.  I have lots of pain in my abdomen (from the tummy tuck), not much pain at all in my breasts.  As long as I sit here not moving, the tummy pain is tolerable...and I have a little button I can push every ten minutes which gives me more pain meds.  But yesterday they made me get up for a short time...and that trip to the chair was really difficult.  Today they want to get me up three times, and take out my catheter...so I'll have to get up to use the toilet.  Not looking forward to that at all.  I had a nice visit yesterday afternoon from Lily and India, and Emma, Mom, Dad and Nathan have all been  here too...and they (plus my brother Paul) all have been helping to take care of Griffin.  I miss Griff so much...but didn't want to have him come here until I'm out of the ICU (which I am supposed to be, but they don't have a room for me yet).  I can't hug anyone yet, and would be afraid that he would kick me in the belly or something...and he might be upset and confused that he can't snuggle with me.  It was hard enough not being able to give the girls a big hug.  But I'm feeling better and better, so hopefully by tomorrow having the kids visit will be easier.  I am pretty sleepy and drift in and out of sleep constantly.  I'll post another more detailed update soon.  I so appreciate all your good thoughts and prayers...and a huge thank you to everyone who has brought a meal or has signed up to bring one...so amazing to have all of you supporting us!

Surgery Coming Right Up

Hello friends.  It's been a while since I last posted...because there hasn't been much to post, thankfully!  Looking back at my last update, I am reminded how scared and depressed I was right after radiation was over...but I am happy to say that I feel much better now, and nearly back to my old optimistic self.  I feel upbeat most of the time, with only occasional brief returns to the fear.  Even the weaning thing has gotten easier...I mostly feel wistful when I imagine how nice it would be to lie in bed nursing Griffin rather than giving him a bottle...instead of feeling angry and sad as I used to.  Okay, I lied...I still feel sad about it...but it's getting better.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, including a visit from Nathan's dad and lots of good food and family time.  So much pie! I think I gained back a few of the pounds I lost during chemo!  I've been busy preparing for Christmas, because I want to be done with everything by December 14, my surgery day.  I have nearly finished my shopping and wrapping, we have decorated the tree and house, and we're trying to cram in as many fun holiday activities with the kids as possible.  I'm sad that we won't be able to host our annual caroling party...that's one thing we can't do early.  We did get our family Christmas picture taken early this year.  Since our last year's one is at the bottom of this blog, I'll go ahead and post this year's...

For anyone who hasn't heard, I'm getting a DIEP flap procedure done.  That is a breast reconstruction technique that takes tissue and skin from your abdomen, and uses it to form new breasts.  It is micro-surgery (the blood vessels in the 'flaps' of tissue need to be reconnected so they can survive).  It will also mean that I get a tummy tuck and repair of my abdominal separation...yay!  I'll be left with a scar from hip to hip, as well as a bit of a patch-work look to my breasts...but all the scars will fade a lot over time.  The controversial nipple will be removed at this surgery...a new one will be reconstructed in a few months. 

I'm looking forward to this surgery in lots of ways...especially eager to get the tissue expanders out, as they are still pretty uncomfortable and weird...and excited about losing my grand mummy tummy...and glad to be getting the very last leg of this journey over with.  But of course I'm getting pretty nervous about it as well, and worried how the recovery period will be.  I know I'm in good hands...but it is freaky to think that my body is going to be cut open and 'rearranged'.  Better not to think too much about it. 

Our helping hands calendar is back in action...many people have already signed up to bring dinners after the surgery...thank you so much!  Here's the link for anyone who doesn't have it: https://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/636569/login/  We so appreciate the help and support.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, with much joy and fun and time spent with family.  Please think of me on the 14th, and send as many thoughts and prayers for a successful surgery as you can.  I'll post an update as soon afterward as I can.

Love you all,
Liz