Surgery Coming Right Up

Hello friends.  It's been a while since I last posted...because there hasn't been much to post, thankfully!  Looking back at my last update, I am reminded how scared and depressed I was right after radiation was over...but I am happy to say that I feel much better now, and nearly back to my old optimistic self.  I feel upbeat most of the time, with only occasional brief returns to the fear.  Even the weaning thing has gotten easier...I mostly feel wistful when I imagine how nice it would be to lie in bed nursing Griffin rather than giving him a bottle...instead of feeling angry and sad as I used to.  Okay, I lied...I still feel sad about it...but it's getting better.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, including a visit from Nathan's dad and lots of good food and family time.  So much pie! I think I gained back a few of the pounds I lost during chemo!  I've been busy preparing for Christmas, because I want to be done with everything by December 14, my surgery day.  I have nearly finished my shopping and wrapping, we have decorated the tree and house, and we're trying to cram in as many fun holiday activities with the kids as possible.  I'm sad that we won't be able to host our annual caroling party...that's one thing we can't do early.  We did get our family Christmas picture taken early this year.  Since our last year's one is at the bottom of this blog, I'll go ahead and post this year's...

For anyone who hasn't heard, I'm getting a DIEP flap procedure done.  That is a breast reconstruction technique that takes tissue and skin from your abdomen, and uses it to form new breasts.  It is micro-surgery (the blood vessels in the 'flaps' of tissue need to be reconnected so they can survive).  It will also mean that I get a tummy tuck and repair of my abdominal separation...yay!  I'll be left with a scar from hip to hip, as well as a bit of a patch-work look to my breasts...but all the scars will fade a lot over time.  The controversial nipple will be removed at this surgery...a new one will be reconstructed in a few months. 

I'm looking forward to this surgery in lots of ways...especially eager to get the tissue expanders out, as they are still pretty uncomfortable and weird...and excited about losing my grand mummy tummy...and glad to be getting the very last leg of this journey over with.  But of course I'm getting pretty nervous about it as well, and worried how the recovery period will be.  I know I'm in good hands...but it is freaky to think that my body is going to be cut open and 'rearranged'.  Better not to think too much about it. 

Our helping hands calendar is back in action...many people have already signed up to bring dinners after the surgery...thank you so much!  Here's the link for anyone who doesn't have it: https://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/636569/login/  We so appreciate the help and support.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, with much joy and fun and time spent with family.  Please think of me on the 14th, and send as many thoughts and prayers for a successful surgery as you can.  I'll post an update as soon afterward as I can.

Love you all,
Liz