I have foobs. That's fake boobs. It's slowly becoming my new normal...but it hits me all over again at least once a day--my breasts are gone, and one nipple will soon be gone too. I think it will be a lot better once the reconstruction is done, though...then at least my foobs will be made of my own flesh, instead of these heavy, hard, uncomfortable expanders.
I also have brand new eyebrows and eyelashes! And I'm shaving my pits and legs again...yay. My head is sporting a crop of fuzz...not really a head of hair yet, but I have stopped wearing hats and scarves in public. It's just too hot, plus I'm really tired of wearing them. I donated a bunch of cancer hats to the Cancer Resource Center at the hospital...they have a 'hat room' for people who need them. And I'm going to send back the wigs and scarves that my Aunt Mary loaned me. It feels good to be purging my house of these things.
I start taking tamoxifen tomorrow. One pill a day for 5 to 10 years. It is supposed to increase the hot flashes...it's actually a good sign if it does, because it means it's working. There are also some other possible minor side effects, and a slight increased risk of uterine cancer. That worries me, but I'm going to concentrate on the benefits--it's going to help keep cancer cells from growing back!--and try not to worry about it.
This week I saw a physical therapist, who taught me all about lymphedema and strategies to try to prevent it...and gave me exercises to strengthen and stretch my shoulders and arms, to get my range of motion back. So now it's up to me to actually DO the exercises, plus try to do some kind of regular exercise like walking...things I am not used to making time for.
This week I also had a counseling session, and went to the support group...both were extremely helpful to me in dealing with a lot of my emotional stuff. I also started driving again, although I haven't yet been up to going out alone with Griffin. I still feel like I need help with him, carrying him and getting him in and out of his car seat etc. He is a heavy and active toddler! Going out with just the girls is fine, though...one of my first times driving was to take them for their school physicals.
I want to say a HUGE thank you to Heather and Casey, who are planning a fund-raising century bike ride which will raise money for us...a lot of their friends and family have already donated to us via the ride, and we are so very very grateful to them...as well as to other generous people who have also contributed money to us recently. It is impossible to express how overwhelmed and thankful we are. Some of the ways we are using this money: paying some of the smaller medical bills; prescriptions and supplements for me; splurging on organic veggies for my morning anti-cancer juice; buying new ultra-soft stretchy bras and camis to wear post-mastectomy; taking the kids to the doctor. Thank you thank you thank you!
It's hard to believe it will be August tomorrow...summer will be ending soon, radiation treatments will be beginning soon. I'll keep you updated on how that goes.
Love you all,
Liz
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