This week has been confusing and emotional for me. After getting the 'all-clear' last week from my surgeon that keeping both nipples was safe, I got a call this week from the senior member of the surgical team at the Center for Breast Health; she told me that my pathology report had come across her desk, that a 2mm margin is not enough, and that she is very nervous about me keeping the right nipple. My radiation oncologist agrees that it is a gray area, it would be very controversial to keep it, and he would not advise it, although it is ultimately my decision. Unfortunately my surgeon is out of town for a month, so I can't discuss it with her and find out how she came up with the 2mm number. Now that I'm doing more research on it, everything I read says I was not a good candidate for nipple-sparing surgery. Luckily, I don't have to do anything right away...if I decide not to save it, I can get it removed later during my reconstruction surgery...so I have some months to figure it out.
My appointment with Dr. Denduluri, my oncologist, was also emotional. When I walked into her office, I was reminded of the first time I went in there to meet her after I was just diagnosed...and I started crying before we even began our appointment. But she was very encouraging and positive. I was worried that my pathology report was especially full of CAPITAL LETTERS (they put anything that was found to be cancerous in caps)...but she said it wasn't as bad as it seemed. I do know now what stage my cancer was; stage IIIa. She gave me my prescription for Tamoxifen, which I will start taking on August 1st...this is the hormone therapy drug which will keep estrogen from feeding any future cancer cells that might decide to appear. I will take it for at least five years. It is supposed to cause even more hot flashes--as if I wasn't having enough already. I also got a prescription for physical therapy, which I am looking forward to taking advantage of; hopefully it will help me avoid getting lymphedema.
Meanwhile, I am recovering well from the surgery. I took myself off the Percoset today. I don't really need it anymore, and Tylenol is working fine. The pain has lessened quite a bit, and I'm mostly feeling a lot of discomfort rather than pain. It's a very weird feeling of being raw UNDER my skin, as well as a lot of pressure from the implants which feel like rocks. My right arm still has a lot of numbness, and my armpit is completely numb...I hope that will gradually improve. My strength is going to take a while to come back, I'm afraid.
I have had a lot of wonderful visitors this week, who have helped with everything from laundry to dishes to taking care of Griffin and the girls. Thank you a bunch to Beth, Sara, Lisa, Jessica C, and Jessica H; and a huge Thanks to Kim, Arlene, Sara and Jess C for the delicious meals this week! And I don't know what I would have done without the help of Emma, Paul, Mom and Dad, and of course Nathan. Thank you Kerstin for being there for me when I needed you. And thanks again to Rashne for a wonderful camp for Lily!
Love you all,
Liz
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